Author Topic: It's just funny!  (Read 18206 times)

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October 09, 2014, 10:20:39 AM

Offline Plaything

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

October 09, 2014, 10:22:29 AM
Reply #1

Offline Plaything

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

October 09, 2014, 05:30:40 PM
Reply #2

Offline Fancy

OMG both of these made me laugh I emailed the first one to one of my friends and she called me laughing so hard.  Love the humor

October 09, 2014, 07:51:02 PM
Reply #3

Online Jed

Mmmmmm, thinks Jed checking his age.

October 09, 2014, 08:05:58 PM
Reply #4

Offline Fancy

What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you laughing for? She's not going to eat you.

October 09, 2014, 09:23:58 PM
Reply #5

Offline Plaything

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

October 10, 2014, 02:37:26 PM
Reply #6

Offline sweetness

Sorry Fancy but l don't get your joke

October 10, 2014, 09:19:45 PM
Reply #7

Offline Plaything

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

October 10, 2014, 09:27:29 PM
Reply #8

Online Jed

Sounds like a lot of old guys might be titty fucking.....

October 11, 2014, 11:01:52 PM
Reply #9

Offline Plaything

Q: Why is sex like math?
A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

October 11, 2014, 11:02:55 PM
Reply #10

Offline Plaything

This one seriously made me laugh . . . haha

A boy asks his mom, "Why am I black and you're white?" She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark."

October 17, 2014, 12:14:59 AM
Reply #11

Offline santino

Nice one.. I loved the jokes so much. I copied them and will post to Facebook one by one. lol

October 29, 2014, 02:14:08 PM
Reply #12

Offline Plaything

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This had us laughing so hard . . .some of them are too funny!

October 29, 2014, 02:30:20 PM
Reply #13

Offline Fancy

LMAO those were soooo funny!!!!  So are these!!!!

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November 02, 2014, 11:47:59 PM
Reply #14

Online Jed

Seems Charlie Sheen might have a new show.  He still can't act, but I did like a line that was delivered.  He and a girl were horse riding and went into the barn to have sex.  She said, "This might be my first real roll in the hay."  He said, "This might be my first stable relationship."

November 09, 2014, 06:11:00 PM
Reply #15

Offline Plaything

Yeah, that was pretty funny . . .

November 09, 2014, 08:31:57 PM
Reply #16

Offline Fancy

I'm actually a fan of Charlie I know he can be a total ass but he is such a cute ass. :P

November 10, 2014, 04:46:33 PM
Reply #17

Offline Dark

He has new show?

November 11, 2014, 03:17:02 PM
Reply #18

Offline Fancy

That's what Jed said.  I haven't seen it but from what Jed posted it could be worth watching.

November 11, 2014, 10:17:49 PM
Reply #19

Online Jed

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That's what Jed said.  I haven't seen it but from what Jed posted it could be worth watching.

Well just liked his line of when they were about to fuck in a horse stall about 'stable' relationship