Author Topic: It's just funny!  (Read 18207 times)

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February 10, 2016, 12:34:53 AM
Reply #100

Offline Plaything

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,
 
"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street today, so the Snow plows can get through."
 
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
 
A week later while they are eating breakfast again,the radio announcer said,
 
"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street today, so the
snow plows can get through."

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...."

Then the electric power went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said,
"I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on today so the snowplows can get through?"

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,

"Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."

February 10, 2016, 12:38:47 AM
Reply #101

Offline Plaything

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"  All the women raised their hands.


Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"  Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. 

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love.  Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?


1. Who the hell is this?


2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?


3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?


4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?


5. I don't understand what you mean?


6. What the hell did you do now?


7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?


8. Am I dreaming?


9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.


10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.


11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?


Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?

February 10, 2016, 01:50:49 AM
Reply #102

Offline vile8r

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February 11, 2016, 03:07:41 AM
Reply #103

Online Jed

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A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"  All the women raised their hands.


Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"  Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. 

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love.  Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?


1. Who the hell is this?


2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?


3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?


4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?


5. I don't understand what you mean?


6. What the hell did you do now?


7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?


8. Am I dreaming?


9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.


10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.


11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?


Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?



12. What are you out of, wine or cigarettes?


13. OK, but it's Friday and I'm still going to happy hour.


14. Who was this meant for?  Never mind, just have him out of the house before I get home.


15.  Love you too Plaything, but be careful.  My wife could have seen that!

February 11, 2016, 02:26:22 PM
Reply #104

Offline Plaything

Oh sorry Jed . . .what was I thinking?

April 21, 2016, 04:54:34 PM
Reply #105

Offline vile8r

Truth In Advertising! LOL!

This was an actual car ad from the 1950s!


April 22, 2016, 06:49:14 PM
Reply #106

Offline Plaything

Yep, this is actually on tv right now . . .my Deputy found it so amusing her texted it too me . . .kinda ummm, funny . . . 

April 27, 2016, 03:33:44 AM
Reply #107

Online Jed

I have not seen this on TV yet, but I'm sure I'd laugh again even after watching it here a couple times.

June 18, 2016, 06:15:36 AM
Reply #108

Online Jed

So the other day I was following this pickup and after reading the large writing on the back of the cab, I had to pull up along side to see the driver:

"If you are riding my ass......you better be pulling my hair!"

It was a girl driving.  She wasn't particularly good looking, but I got to give her high marks for putting that on her truck!

June 18, 2016, 11:11:33 AM
Reply #109

Offline sweetness

I have seen those even considered making one but the hubs would not like that

June 19, 2016, 09:46:51 AM
Reply #110

Offline Plaything

When Jed posted that l immediately thought uh huh Sweetness will be making those . . .haha

August 02, 2016, 08:55:08 PM
Reply #111

Offline Plaything

You can't say happiness without saying penis. (You're welcome, you know that is funny!)

November 29, 2016, 08:30:38 PM
Reply #112

Online Jed

So a friend of mine fell off a ladder at work and broke his right arm.  It was just before 4 of us were going on an extended backpacking trip, so that got canceled.

There have been jokes at his expense about how he would have to relearn how to masturbate using his left hand.  He claimed that was going well these last several weeks.

Tonight at happy hour he said he was able to masturbate with his right hand again.  He said, 'Now that I can do it with both hands, last night we had a 3-way'.

January 17, 2017, 02:37:56 PM
Reply #113

Online Jed


January 17, 2017, 03:35:52 PM
Reply #114

Online Jed



She doesn't look familiar, so I don't know how she knows me so well.

January 25, 2017, 12:43:44 AM
Reply #115

Offline Plaything

Just in time for Valentine's Day . . .

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Doesn't that look like fun?

January 25, 2017, 08:43:35 PM
Reply #116

Online Jed

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Just in time for Valentine's Day . . .

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Doesn't that look like fun?


I like that it comes in 6", 7" and 8" models.  Try as I might, I can't stretch mine to 8", but I can surpass 7".

As I look at this, it seems like it's supposed to be a hot seat for a cold weather football game?  Is this what the cheerleaders use during rest breaks?  That and I bet girls in the stands stay alert during the game with it.