Oh goodness Jed!
I know Plaything, but that's not really my truck.
However, I was just looking at the brush guard and winch on the front of my big red truck and imagining the various ways I could secure you there on the bars. I'm thinking I'd have you strapped on the front the opposite way facing me inside the cab. That way I can smile and wave at you through my the windshield as I drive. Also, I'd have your ankles strapped very far apart and you bent over. That way I could pull over every once in a while and use you from behind.