Author Topic: The Cusp of Womanhood  (Read 1610 times)

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September 09, 2017, 12:25:19 PM
Reply #20

Offline Jed

I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

I didn’t sleep well all night, and I didn’t go to the carnival that day on Thursday with the other kids.  I lied and told mom I didn’t feel well and stayed in bed until well after noon.  I also went to bed early and lay there thinking of him, and what he did to me, and what he made me do.  The worst thing being how he pushed me away when he was done with me.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  It was like I could feel his hands on me while I tried to sleep.  I looked and it was almost 10PM, and I still couldn’t stop thinking about him.  I knew I didn’t want him to see me or make me do anything ever again, but I had to get another look at him.  So then, I finally got up and got dressed and sneaked out and walked the 15 minutes it took to get to the fairgrounds.

At the carnival, I hung in the shadows.  Drunken men walked by and tried to talk to me, shouting nasty things about my body.  One even tried to grab my arm, but I slipped away from him.  I was looking for him, but I didn’t want him to see me.  I was afraid of what would happen if he did.  I finally found him over by the dunking booth.

Last year someone told me there was always a man or two that hung back behind the dunking booth.  The man in clown makeup in the dunking cage made people mad, and made them want to dunk him.  He would yell things at the men, and insult them to get them to pay for and throw balls to dunk him.  Sometimes the clown made people so mad, they wanted to hurt him.  The men who watched were there in case someone wanted to try and beat him up.  I guess that was what he was doing there, protecting the clown dunking man.

He was with another guy talking, and then he turned and looked right at me.  I don’t know how he knew I was there or could even see me in the dark.  I was frozen in place, and he began walking towards me.  I wanted to run, but my legs turned to jello.  And then he was there and put his rough big hand on my neck squeezing.  I knew then I was lost, and my shoulders slumped in defeat.

He led me by the neck around and between tents and through a back gate.  It was not a gate for getting in or out of the carnival.  It was where the carnival people had their trucks and trailers and stuff.  He led me to on old dented, rusty and dirty trailer and opened the door pushing me inside.  Once inside he pushed me towards a bed in the back and ordered, “Take your clothes off little bird.”

I stood there next to the bed, my head down and whispered, “You’re really going to take my virginity this time aren’t you?”
“But I don’t want you to, please don’t.” my shaky voice getting pleading.
“Even you know it’s too late to stop that.”

Somehow, I did know that.  I knew I was defeated.  I didn’t have to come back to the carnival and find him, but I did.  I could have run when he looked at me, but I don’t think I wanted to.  I brushed a few tears off my cheek, and looked at his hard stare and stern face.  Under his gaze, I knew what I had to do and began undressing.  I was slow on purpose somehow hoping he would say, ‘Never mind,’ but he didn’t.  I expected him to tell me to get undressed faster, but he patiently watched me.

Even before I met him, I suspected there was something really wrong with me.  Now undressing in front of him, I was positive there was something broken and damaged about me.  I know I’m way too young for sex.  It seems like it was only yesterday I didn’t have breasts or any hair down there, but now as I pushed my panties off my hips letting them drop to the floor, I still felt like a little kid.  Now naked in front of this much older and larger man, I briefly went to cover my chest and crotch with my arm and hands, and then dropped them to my sides knowing how useless that was.  The reason why I knew I was broken and damaged was despite my fear of what he was about to do, I was also completely turned on and already a little wet from undressing for him.

He had me sit on the bed next to him while he undressed.  I inhaled the smell of him again with him so close, that intoxicating man smell.  Once he was naked, and I could see him far better than before, I found I couldn’t look.  While I averted my gaze, I could see him put an old tattered blanket down on the bed.  What happened next surprised me.  He put something up to my neck, around it and then buckled it.  He then hooked it to a strap to it.  I knew what it was, a dog collar, and he just leashed me like I was his pet.

I felt a shudder go through my body thinking about being his pet.  The shudder wasn’t all bad despite me wanting to hate it.  He pulled me up on his lap then, his hand on my body like last night touching my breasts and almost immediately I heard myself moan.  I could feel it hard under me so very close to my vagina.  Then he did something that for some reason surprised me.  He kissed me.

It wasn’t the kind of kiss I ever experienced.  His mouth was open and his tongue forced its way into my mouth.  I was moaning into his mouth and kissing him back.  I don’t know when I did it, but my arms were around his neck while we kissed.  He turned and very slowly pushed me down on the tattered blanket.  I began panicking then and started to struggle.  Once he got me on my back I struggled even harder, and that’s when he slapped me across the face really hard, and said in a mild and not even angry voice, “Nothing is stopping this, so you might as well quit that.”

My face stung from the slap, and while I was in a little shock at being slapped, something I’m not sure ever happened to me, it seemed to instantly calm me.  He took the grip of the leash and tied in through a metal eyehook in the wall.  I watched in fascination knowing I could easily untie it.  Somehow my eyes wandered and I saw there were more of these eyehooks around the sides and back of the bed that were the walls of the trailer.  Seeing him tie the leach to one had me envisioning tying girls was the reason for them.  I couldn’t help it, but the thought of being tied up in his bed brought me right back to being very turned on.

His knees pushing between my knees to open my legs brought my attention back to him.  It seemed to be very practiced, the motion he made that forced my legs open until they were widely spread.  As he lowered himself between my legs, I wanted to try and push him away.  Instead, I found my hands on his hips just holding them.  I then felt it, that thing that had been in my mouth, probing me down there.  I realized I was whispering a prayer.  I haven’t prayed since I was 6, but I was now.  He had it right there at my folds, and I tensed waiting for it.

Already wincing in anticipation with my whole body rigid, I thought to myself, this is really going to hurt.

September 09, 2017, 02:41:15 PM
Reply #21

Offline Emily

Thank for keeping your promise and posting this today! :D

September 11, 2017, 10:17:00 PM
Reply #22

Offline Jed


There was so much tension and anticipation in me, so when he didn’t just shove it in, I was surprised.  I could feel the tip of his hard thing rubbing around.  With shame, I knew he was wetting the tip with my wetness from being turned on.  And then he rubbed it against my button, and my whole body jerked.  He did it again, and I moaned.  I knew then it was no accident.  He was trying to turn me on, and it was working.  I could feel my legs open even wider as if I was welcoming him in.  I wasn’t as tense either.  I had relaxed some.  I was still terrified, but I was no longer stiff.  I was still shaking like crazy though in anticipation.

He kept rubbing it around until I began to squirm and moan.  My folds and my button are kind of inside me, and his thing was now pressing right in there pushing me open.  It felt scary big, rubbing around and pressing.  He seemed to be pushing it in a little deeper each time until I could feel it stretching me open, and then it seemed to be blocked.  He stopped then, and lifted himself up.  I could sense him looking down at my face.  He was so tall, that to look at his face I had to tilt my head back.  He was smiling and said, “Look at those blue eyes now that I have you in the light.  You’re not just a little bird, you’re a little bluebird.”

With that I could feel him give a long steady push.  That’s when it started hurting.  A little at first as the pressure inside me began to build.  It seemed like my insides couldn’t stop him any longer, and I put my hand in my mouth and bit down.  Just then it was like something tore hurtfully inside me, and I could feel his thing slide into me.  I heard myself groan very loud into my hand and then whimper.  I didn’t scream like I thought I would, but I almost did.  It really hurt.

He was moving slowly like he was testing how deep he could go.  I pulled my hand out of my mouth and saw I had actually broke the skin when I bit down on it with a trickle of blood from a few of the bite marks.  I was wincing each time he pushed in and whimpering continuously.  I had my hands back on his sides again as if to push him away, but I wasn’t trying to push him knowing it wouldn’t do any good.  My hands were just resting there moving with his movements.  He reached back and pulled my ankle up to his hip, and then the other one too.  I guessed he wanted me to wrap my legs around his moving body, so I did it afraid he would be mad if I didn’t.

After that I just held onto him while he pushed it in me and in me and did it again and again.  He felt so huge inside me, like something way too big to be in there.  I wasn’t some stupid girl.  I knew what was happening.  Some man maybe three times my age just took my virginity and was fucking me.  It was just crazy this was happening, and I kept thinking about all the things I could have done to prevent it.  Why did I have to look at the hooch girls and the men watching and touching them, and why did I have to come back to try and see him?

I wasn’t just thinking about his thing inside me moving in and out.  That collar tight around my neck wasn’t letting me forget it was there either, and the leash tied to the hook was making me feel trapped more than his body on top of me.  A little bit in a daze I looked around and saw the other hooks around the bed.  They didn’t make any sense except for tying something, like tying girls to them like me.  I could see how old, worn and tarnished they looked.  Like they had been used a lot, like lots of girls had been tied up in this bed.  I kept telling myself I could untie the leash with no problem.  It wouldn’t be that hard to pick at the knot.  But it kept bothering me, because why have these hooks to tie girls to if they could easily untie themselves?

I lay under him my whole body moving as he repeatedly thrust into me.  The first sharp hurt changed to me getting really sore.  Sometimes he went too deep seeming to push my insides up, and I squealed little in pain.  I knew he wouldn’t stop until he was done.  I was dreading that, and what would happen when he did finish.  But it was really hurting now, and I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was getting really scared if he didn’t stop soon he was going to kill me with it, so I begged him, “Please hurry up.  It hurts.  It hurts!”

I heard him grunt in his heavy breathing, and then he taunted me by asking, “You want my cum inside you little bluebird?”

I didn’t want that at all, but I was desperate for him to be done with me.  All I could say to him was, “Please!”

“Please what?”
“Beg me to cum in you my little bluebird and maybe this will end.”

I could feel my face flush with shame because I knew I was going to do it, and hating myself I said it, “Please cum in me!”

“You can do better than that my slutty little bluebird.  Tell me how much you love my cock and want my cum inside you.”

I swallowed hard mortified by what he was asking, but it hurt so much I began to desperately do what he said and began begging, “Please cum in me!  I love your cock!  Oh god, please don’t make me do this.  Oh god.  Oh god………..Please cum in me!  I love your cock so much….please!”

I didn’t know what to say and just kept repeating the same words until I was sobbing so bad all that was coming out was choking sobs.  And then he was doing it even faster, and it hurt so bad all I did was scream.  He seemed to jerk against me, and then he went stiff.  That’s when he stopped moving, his body anyway.  I could feel it inside me throb, and then there was wetness.  I knew it was the same stuff he made me swallow, swallow twice.  It was almost familiar, like it spurting in me down there felt sort of the same as in my throat, except I didn’t choke and have to swallow.

He breathed hard for maybe a minute, and then pulled out of me.  It was a sickly disgusting feeling, almost like I had pooped feeling it leave my body.  He rolled off me, and I could feel the slimy wetness running out between my legs feeling messy and nasty.  I saw it then, his thing, and there was blood on it, my blood.  It wasn’t a bunch, but it scared me I was bleeding.  He pulled on the old blanket I was on, and then touched it to me.  There was some blood, and he dabbed at my sore crotch a couple more times until no blood stained the blanket, then he wiped himself with it.  He yanked the blanket out from under me and tossed it on the floor.

I don’t know what I expected after?  I think I thought he would shove me away just like before and tell me I can go home, which was why I was shocked at what he did do.  He pulled my arms behind my back, and I heard a click and felt metal and something soft around my wrist.  There was another click on my other wrist, and I suddenly realized he put me in handcuffs lined with something like felt.  It was then I realized I no longer could reach to unbuckle the collar or untie the leash.  I couldn’t leave his bed unless he let me go, so I pleaded with him, “Please, I need to go home.”
“We have all night.  If I like how you act, maybe you can go home in the morning.”

There naked and cuffed helpless in his bed, feeling his naked body breathing slowly against me, I was softly crying and wondering why I came looking for him.  But that wasn’t all I was wondering about, because I knew he wasn’t done with me.

September 12, 2017, 10:18:16 PM
Reply #23

Offline vile8r

Good read, Jed! I love the first-person POV by the girl.....very creative!

September 20, 2017, 08:31:40 PM
Reply #24

Offline Jed

His Leashed Pet

He slept, but I didn’t.  I had no clock to look at to know how late it was or how long I lay awake.  It seemed maybe an hour or two, and then I felt him stir.  I wasn’t sure if he woke or not, but then I felt his hands on me, those awful hands that make me squirm.  His hands were on my breasts and butt, and then I started crying when he touched my crotch.  It was very sore from him doing it to me.  I was terrified he was going to do it again, stick it in me, and I began crying louder.

It was so sore.  I was afraid he would shove a finger in me or rub it hard, but he just lightly touched me.  I both hated his fingers there and liked it, especially with him being gentle.  It was then I felt it getting hard and poking me in my thigh.  It was so close to my crotch hard and throbbing, and I knew he wanted me again.  My crying got worse, and I guess he knew exactly what was on my mind and said, “If you think your pussy is too sore little bluebird to get fucked again so soon, I’ll let you suck me off instead like the other night.”

In the middle of crying there in the dark, I found myself nodding in agreement and relief.  But even while I knew I would do it, I wondered what was wrong with me that I would agree so easily.  I also did not miss the ‘so soon’ part about him doing it to me again.  All of this was swirling in my head when I felt his hands in my hair pushing my head down.  It was awkward moving down with my hands cuffed, so it was mostly him shoving on my head.

As he pushed me down to his thing, I was conscious of the leash.  I thought it wasn’t long enough, but then his thing was right in my face seeming familiar from when I had to do it before.  While just barely long enough, the leash had gone a little taut.  The collar felt very tight around my neck, constricting it, but there was more to it.  The tightness around my neck made me feel strange, like he owned me or something, like I was his pet for real.

With my hands cuffed I had no way to grasp it to guide it into my mouth, but he took care of that.  In my head I was wondering why I was cooperating at all, but I was.  I just let him push it against my lips, and I opened my mouth for it, not really willingly, but not fighting it either.  Before it tasted like he smelled, like a man and nicer than I wanted it to be.  It didn’t taste good at all this time.  It took me a few moments to understand why.  I was tasting me on it.  I remembered him wiping it with the blanket, but not very well.  It was nasty, and there was an iron taste I realized was my blood.

There wasn’t anything I could do about moving my head, so I wasn’t surprised when he began humping my face just like in the grass under the hooch stage.  I had to lay there and take it, helpless as he fucked my mouth.  I sucked on it as best I could and noticed the bad taste was going away.  It didn’t taste good or anything, just less bad.

He kept doing it like before, going too deep making me gag and choke on it.  Sometimes I heaved and felt like I was going to throw up, but he would pull back just before I was about to.  I figured out he could sense when I couldn’t take any more, but he was also making me take as much as I could and just a little more.  While laying there on my side, hands cuffed behind me and that leach tugging on the collar around my neck, I began getting the feeling he was training me to take it in my mouth.  That thought made me think of being his pet again.  The collar and leash, and him training me to please him; he was training me to be his pet, his pet for sex to please him.  And, I was doing it.  I was sucking on it as best as I could, doing my best to please him.

It was all these thoughts swirling in my head when it happened again.  He grabbed my head hard, and it jerked in my mouth spurting.  I guess I was thinking too hard and got took by surprise.  I started choking on the slimy mess in my throat and squealed in panic around his thing.  He wouldn’t let go of my head, so I began swallowing to clear my throat.  I swallowed until it was mostly gone.  He pushed it in my mouth again, and I understood.  I sucked on it some more.  I somehow knew he wanted me to keep sucking until I pulled all of the slimy stuff out of his thing.

Abruptly he seemed satisfied and pulled it from my mouth.  He got up and in the trailer and went towards the kitchen.  He came back with a glass of water sipping it.  He sat next to me drinking the water for a minute or so, then he hauled me up to a sitting position.  He put the glass to my lips and tilted it so I could drink.  Cuffed like I was, I couldn’t hold the glass, and I knew now he wasn’t taking those off.  It was hard to drink like that and some dribbled down onto my bare breasts.  I thanked him and he gave me more.  He let me sip until I nodded it was enough.  And then he just pulled me down with and went back to sleep.  I didn’t think I could sleep, but then I did.

I woke to his hands on my body again, those insidious hands that make me squirm.  While I hated how I reacted to them, they now seemed so recognizable and oddly fitting, as if they belonged there on my body.  Knowing this would lead to him pleasuring himself with me again, I sought to interrupt it by blurting out a truthful statement, “I have to pee!”
“Well then, let’s take you to go pee.”

I watched while he untied the leash from the hook and felt so much relief.  But then he immediately gave a rough tug on the leash hurting my throat.  I heard myself whine as I tried to sit up.  I was thinking he would take the cuffs off, but he just yanked on the leash again pulling me to my feet.  I stumbled and began thinking about being his pet again, and then he led me through the trailer.  There was a tiny bathroom, and he pointed.  I didn’t know what else to do, so I sat and started peeing immediately.  I really had to go.  He stood there naked and watched me the whole time.  It was embarrassing being watched, but what could I do.  I tried not to look at his thing in front of my face, especially because it wasn’t exactly soft, and I knew what that meant.

When I was done, I just sat there not wanting to stand, but he pulled me by the leash around my neck to my feet.  He even took a piece of tissue and dabbed my crotch.  I kept thinking I should beg to be released, but he seemed so in control of me.  It was starting to get light, so then I did say, “Please, I need to go home.  My mom will know I was out all night if I don’t go home.”

He ignored me and led me over to an armless chair.  He sat in it, and then while I whined he pulled me into his lap facing him.  I was hoping me peeing would make him forget about doing anything, but I was wrong.  He had me pulled up way on his chest with his hands on my butt, my legs on either side of him dangling not touching the floor.  I felt so helpless.  I always felt helpless with him.

He pulled me way up on his chest.  I didn’t know what he was going to do, and then he had one of my nipples in his mouth.  I couldn’t believe how good that felt and moaned immediately.  His hands squeezed both my butt cheeks and pulled my breast up to his mouth, gently nibbling on my nipple. I could hear myself moaning and knew he was doing it to me again, making me aroused and wanting him.  I could feel myself pushing my chest against his face.  He moved me, and then he was sucking and licking my other nipple.  I knew I was getting wet again, and I knew he knew it too, and then he reached with a finger to slide it in me.

I began crying again knowing he was going to do it.  I could feel him fumble, and then it was pushing at my crotch.  I didn’t want it and tried to struggle away from it.  With my hands cuffed behind my back and my feet not touching the floor, there wasn’t anything I could do.  It was pushing into me again like last night.  I tried to force my body up using my thighs, but then I’d slide back down on it feeling it penetrate me a little deeper as I struggled.  I kept trying to get away from it, but it was like I was only bouncing up and down on it helplessly.  I looked and saw the pleased look on his face and knew me trying to get off it was only making it nicer for him.  And then he said something that made no sense at first, “Smile for the camera.”

I couldn’t understand why he said that as I struggled to try and get it out of me.  Then something made me look to the side, and I saw someone else.  There was someone off to the side with some sort of camera filming us.  I could feel my face turn red, and I cried louder upset at all that was going on.  I got desperate trying to get off his lap and get his thing out of me, but the more I struggled the more I just seemed to be bouncing up and down on it.  He and the guy filming were laughing at me now.  I just wanted to die.